Are the men around you angry? Mine sometimes is. One of the things that seems to bother him is that he sees a male dominated world disintegrating.
Men raised in earlier times think it is necessary for some things to remain solely for men. Things like joining the service, working in construction, being an airline pilot, going to space, becoming a CEO and etc.
What is the cause of this anger?
The feminist movement.
Men of prior era’s were raised to show courteous behavior to women, like opening doors, assisting them with putting on a coat or pulling the chair out from the table for them. For some women, having anyone open a door for them indicates that person thinks they are weak and need protection. In the 1980’s women thought they could do it all – remember the Enjoli ad where the actress had to act sexy, and do it all including …”bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan”. We felt like we still had to fill all the traditional female roles – cooking, cleaning, raising kids but now also had to get out and earn a salary.
When the feminist movement re-ignited in the 1970’s, women became publicly vocal about being able and willing to do things for themselves. Some women took it to the extreme and scolded polite men who held doors open for them. Men, quite naturally, took umbrage at their attitude and stopped doing it.
I think this is great. We should hold the door for anyone, man, woman or child, who is struggling to get it open, but we should not do so just because someone is old, female, young or male.
Catch up provisions by the federal government.
Due to Equal Employment Opportunity legislation as well as regulations favoring the hiring of minorities and women, government agencies and sometimes those companies who contracted with the government, made sure that women were given opportunities for hiring and advancement. As a consequence, some men, equally qualified, were passed over to favor women applicants and candidates.
While unfair to those particular men, these actions have helped somewhat, in equalizing the pay earned by men vs. that earned by women. Unfortunately, women still lag behind men in earning power. Some of this is caused by women choosing to work in traditionally lower paying fields. Yet even in management and professional fields, where you would expect to see equal pay, women in 2013 earned just $973 for a man’s $1349 weekly earnings (according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics).
Men object to taking the ‘man’ out of things.
My man refused to even watch the Mo’Ne Davis Chevrolet commercial that, hey, girls can do this little league stuff too. His comment was that now girls would expect to participate in big league ball and it would just ruin the game because the guys would have to make concessions to let the gals play.
He also considers guy time to be sacrosanct. After all, he says, guys need to be able to get away from all the girlie expectations and curse, sweat and spit together.
A promise has been broken.
We are all moulded by family and society as we grow and learn to live in our world. We are taught that we should expect certain things if we perform a certain way. Men used to be taught that they must be the provider of the family, that they must use their physical strength to protect their women from danger and harm. They expected that the women would not compete with them because they were providing and protecting. Now, they see women as competitors and sometime opponents to get what they need or want. The promise of expected behavior has been broken.
However, society and our laws have not yet caught up with the broken promise on all fronts. Women are sometimes given benefits that, in a truly equal society, should not be automatically given. Maternity leave, alimony, and other benefits may still be more often provided to women than to men.
Why are some men in an uproar?
I think some men feel threatened. In America, over the past several generations, the roles of men and women in society have been changing. The patriarchal society we have endured (or enjoyed, depending on your viewpoint) for generations is softening to include the matriarchs.
American society has generally moved beyond the need for physical strength. Men have dominated societies for generations because they are physically stronger. In the hunter/gatherer world, a world in which the strong subdue the weak, that made survival sense. In the world of technology and information, the playing field is becoming more leveled. In a world which favors mind over matter, we don’t need to choose between a matriarchal or patriarchal society.
I think that some men could also be a bit angry at being asked (or expected) to take on more of the home front – cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and childcare. But when both parents work, it only seems right to divide up the work that needs to be done instead of just assuming that the women will add the job to her already existing duties. Couples need to divide up the chores in a way that makes their lives work for them.
Why not a gender neutral world?
Eventually, hopefully, we will work through this period of change and emerge with a society that values individual strengths and allows for success based on those instead of outdated ideas about who should do what or earn what.
Lets work towards a society where men and women cherish their differences and use them to help each other in their own unique situation, instead of a world where one sex must dominate the other.
Do you ever get angry at the opposite sex due to societal inequities?