While not long by many standards, my partner and I have been together for six years. We began our relationship when we were quite young, so it almost feels like we’ve known each other forever. We have lived together for five years, so I know his habits and lifestyle in and out. He knows mine the same way.
Sometimes, with work, the house and our other responsibilities, we hit a bit of a wall and find that we aren’t connecting as well as we should be and as well as we used to. I’ll find that while we do talk on a regular basis, sometimes a period of time goes by when we don’t actually communicate anything with one another that isn’t about who is walking the dogs or cleaning the kitchen that day. I think many couples find the same thing.
Studies show that those people who have a partner and who connect with them well and frequently, emotionally, physically, and intellectually, are happier, more stable and mentally sound individuals. It makes sense. Having somebody with which to share your life can be very beneficial. However, it’s not helpful if you are having trouble connecting with your partner. When you’ve been with somebody for long enough, sometimes things can get routine and comfortable, and you can lose the connection that drew you to them in the first place.
These tips can apply to reconnecting to your romantic partner, a friend, or even a family member.
Talk to Them
Sometimes, the most common sense solution is forgotten. The best way to reconnect with your partner is to talk to them. Tell them about your day, ask them about theirs; have discussions about your goals and the future. Sometimes couples fall into routines that don’t include filling each other in or long, in depth discussions. Look at your next exchange with your partner and determine whether the exchange is actually a discussion or more of a check-in.
Find a Common Ground
Whether it’s a show that you both like or a favorite song, sharing something that you both have an affinity for can help reconnect you. Try to do the activity together instead of alone. If it’s something like reading books, discuss the books you just read. Opening up the communication channels is important, and talking about something that you both enjoy can help. Furthermore, it’s a positive activity for you because you enjoy it.
Try New Things Together
Trying new things together, and therefore having a story to tell later, can foster a connection very well. Even trying new restaurants or going to new parks can make a difference. The idea is to break out of the routine and share experiences together. Learning something together can be rewarding and fun.
Cooking something you’ve never made before together can be a way of doing this while also getting things done that you need to do, like feed your family.
Connect Over a Passion
While it is nice to share a passion with your partner (or whoever it is that you’re trying to re-connect with), a stronger bond can be built simply by sharing your passion with them. For example, if you love to play the guitar but they don’t know how, set some time aside to show them the basics. Ask to learn something that they are passionate about. Teaching somebody that you love to do something that you are passionate about can be rewarding and a bonding experience.
Being connected to your partner and having a solid relationship has many benefits, but it’s something that needs some work sometimes. Try to do something each and every day to bond with them and bring you back together so that you don’t lose that crucial connection.
This is good advice, although certainly by my standards (been married 14 years next march) the author is a newlywed. I wonder what advice she’ll give about the oh-so-there seven year itch, although it might come later in a good marriage.
Thanks. It is a long time. Sometimes I feel like it’s been thirty years (jk).
We have been married for almost 8 years and together for ten. One thing that has kept us strong has been always making time for each other. Even after we started having kids we have always had date nights, etc. And we almost always get a babysitter on Saturday nights even though we have to pay for it. We also take a kid-free vacation every year. All of those investments in our relationship are worth it.
That so sweet, Holly. I guess that the’s reason why the spark in your marriage is very much alive (and kicking).
Congrats on 6 years for you 2!!! After 16 years, we realize the reconnecting begins anew each day and we talk for about 1:15 each morning on our walk. It is our morning meeting where the agenda is created as we go!
Nice post, Daisy!!!
It sure is. I always walk up to the church four times a week to lock it up with my hubby. We talk a lot when we do that.
good advice. It’s very important to find common grounds to talk about especially if you haven’t spent a lot of time together.
We have been married for that amount of time and we talk lots. I believe that spending time together and talking about ‘us’ as opposed to ‘life’ it helps get us to the next level. Great post.
Great Ideas…I like the trying new things idea if you’ve been together for awhile, it’s nice to try something new. I think it’s great to reconnect from time to time…marriage takes work, but it is truly worth it.
Really great post. Communication is the key to all relationships and can really help reconnect two people. By being open and transparent you can come to a common ground on most things.
I totally agree with you, Sean. Without it, even though the two people are very much in love, the relationship won’t work.
Great ideas and I am going to try some of these (good thing we are off on holiday tomorrow do there won’t be any excuses). I know what you mean and it only gets worse as time passes: we’ve been together for 22 years and I know my husband’s habits but have absolutely no idea what his dreams are or how he feels about things. Sad!
Have time for him/her – that is very important. Because if you have time for him/her, you’ll get to talk about anything to each other and do the things you both love together.