Lack of self confidence often stems from low self esteem and can have a detrimental effect on your happiness and success. Trust me, I know. I have struggled a lot with confidence in the past and still do, although I have come a long way. My life is much better now that I have more confidence. Confidence is linked to how you perceive yourself and can influence how others see you, making this is a really important area to work on. Here are five steps I used to help increase my self confidence. Take a read and see if they might help you.
What is self confidence?
Self confidence is having the ability, psychologically, to do the things we want to do. It is feeling self-assured and capable, being self-reliant and feeling in control of the situation. It encompasses the ability to stand up for yourself and feeling that you are equal to other people.
Your behavior will usually reflect how self confident you are feeling. You might display more self confidence in certain situations but less in others. Follow these 5 easy steps to gaining confidence in yourself to be able to tackle any situation.
Make a list. Everyone has good qualities; make a list of the qualities you have that you admire. Ask close friends and relatives to tell you the qualities they see in you. Check over your list and see that you have many admirable qualities that you can be proud of. This exercise helps your self esteem by showing the positive side of your character.
Be kind to yourself. This was and still is my arch nemesis. I have this bad habit of being really hard on myself. What I realized is that in order to increase your self esteem you need to give yourself a break. Don’t focus on the areas where you think you fall short. Remember your good points and work on your weaknesses; doing something positive towards increasing your confidence gives you a real boost.Watch your negative self-talk; you know, that endless chatter that goes on in your mind, usually telling you why you can’t do what you want to do. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, turn it around by saying to yourself, “I used to think like that but now I am …… (something more positive).”
Fake it till you make it. This is a great strategy for increasing your self confidence. Act like you are confident; talk like you believein what you are saying; dress the way confident people dress; stand tall, walk proud, head held high. No one knows the difference and by acting confident, you will feel more confident. Practice makes perfect; faking it is just a type of practice.
Be grateful. Having an attitude of gratitude makes you realize just how much you have going for you. Mentally list 5 things you are grateful for before you get out of bed in the morning and do the same before you go to sleep at night. Be grateful and proud that you are now doing something positive towards increasing your self confidence. Acknowledge improvements in your level of confidence. By focusing on what you have, you lessen the negative effect of feeling the lack of confidence.
Look after yourself. Take good care of your health so that you feel in peak condition. Eat a nutritional diet, limit processed foods which are just full of empty calories, and drink plenty of water every day. Be active for 20 to 30 minutes on most days as exercise makes you feel good by releasing extra serotonin and giving you more energy. Dress for success, have your hair styled and get regular dental check-ups. By making the most of yourself physically, you will feel more confident in those situations where you have felt uneasy in the past.
If you use these 5 steps to increase your self confidence and self esteem, you will gradually start to notice times when you are less nervous, less anxious and better able to cope in situations where you used to be uneasy or scared. Persevere and you will gain confidence in all areas of your life and feel good about yourself as well. It really does work; at least it did for me.
So, do you battle a lack of self confidence? What have you done to try to overcome it? What has worked and what hasn’t?
Increase Your Self Confidence: 5 Easy Steps — 21 Comments
I wholeheartedly agree with all these steps but it probably needs some further specifics. Making lists is good; but as I have said before these have to be ‘fit for purpose’ – and lack of confidence is rarely universal (spreading to all areas of your life) and is time and situation specific. This only means that making lists is great but these have to be made regularly and be specific.
Shall I tell you where I fail? I am a very critical person (to myself and others) so being kind is diffcult; and this past several months I have not been looking well after myself (have not been running or resting).
At least you know what you have to work on. That is huge. You can focus your efforts on those things.
You’re right- the list does need some specifics in some cases but I also think that there are some universal traits we have that do affect every aspect of our lives. You mentioned being critical. That can transfer to all aspects of ones life and cause a negative spin. By changing to a non critical person, one can be positive about every aspect in their life.
Miss T – all great tips. I remember doing an activity in class years ago where we all made a list of something nice about each person in the class. As a not very popular kid, I was amazed at some of the nice things people had said about me. I should do something similar now and carry it around for my “down days”.
That is a great idea. It is amazing how when we become adults we forget about these simple yet so important things like being kind to each other and ourselves.
I don’t know if it ever goes away for anyone, but if we can minimize it’s effects and think more positively, I think our lives will be more all in all more positive.
Excellent tips, esp the take care of yourself tip. I find that when I skip my vitamins and don’t have a meal with protein in it I feel down and blue. But when I remember to take my vitamins, esp vitamin D and eat some protein, things in my day just work out so much better.
Great tips, Miss T. 🙂 I always noticed that when I eat healthy and exercise my confidence dramatically increases. As for the others, I’ve never really given them a fair shot…maybe I should. 🙂
Me too. I think it’s because those are positive actions and lead to positive results which makes us feel good. That feeling good translates into more confidence.
I love this. I need to do all of it more. Being kind to myself…I need to pamper myself more, too. I’m in no way a shallow person or too obsessed with my appearance, but when I put the effort into looking good (or someone else puts the effort into me looking good!) it does, admittedly, give me a confidence boost.
I think even the most confident people have issue with self esteem sometimes. I love the point about looking after yourself, a lot of people neglect themselves in order to please others.
Yes it is true – people sacrifice all the time. While sacrifice is good and worthwhile, we have to make sure we don’t give more than we have to give. We are no use to anyone eventually if we haven’t looked after ourselves.
•First you must remove your psychological obstructions. If you cannot get over them yourself, it’s better to get help. You can try Subliminal mp3s audio Sessions, Brain wave Entrainment or self-help guides and than you must arrange your posture to get the most out of your confidence.
Good point. We can be a barrier to ourselves if we get stuck inside our own head. We need to allow ourselves to think about the bigger picture around us so our perspective can change.
Lack of self confidence often stems from low self esteem and can have a detrimental effect on your happiness and success. Trust me, I know. I have struggled a lot with confidence in the past and still do, although I have come a long way. My life is much better now that I have more confidence. Confidence is linked to how you perceive yourself and can influence how others see you, making this is a really important area to work on. Here are five steps I used to help increase my self confidence. Take a read and see if they might help you.
I wholeheartedly agree with all these steps but it probably needs some further specifics. Making lists is good; but as I have said before these have to be ‘fit for purpose’ – and lack of confidence is rarely universal (spreading to all areas of your life) and is time and situation specific. This only means that making lists is great but these have to be made regularly and be specific.
Shall I tell you where I fail? I am a very critical person (to myself and others) so being kind is diffcult; and this past several months I have not been looking well after myself (have not been running or resting).
At least you know what you have to work on. That is huge. You can focus your efforts on those things.
You’re right- the list does need some specifics in some cases but I also think that there are some universal traits we have that do affect every aspect of our lives. You mentioned being critical. That can transfer to all aspects of ones life and cause a negative spin. By changing to a non critical person, one can be positive about every aspect in their life.
I say fake it til you make it all the time. Being kind to yourself is important especially when you go out of your comfort zone to accomplish goals.
Being kind to yourself can be really hard though. Many of us are our worst critics.
Miss T – all great tips. I remember doing an activity in class years ago where we all made a list of something nice about each person in the class. As a not very popular kid, I was amazed at some of the nice things people had said about me. I should do something similar now and carry it around for my “down days”.
That is a great idea. It is amazing how when we become adults we forget about these simple yet so important things like being kind to each other and ourselves.
I don’t know if it ever goes away for anyone, but if we can minimize it’s effects and think more positively, I think our lives will be more all in all more positive.
Excellent tips, esp the take care of yourself tip. I find that when I skip my vitamins and don’t have a meal with protein in it I feel down and blue. But when I remember to take my vitamins, esp vitamin D and eat some protein, things in my day just work out so much better.
I have found that too. Your whole system including your emotional system function better when you take care of yourself physically.
Great tips, Miss T. 🙂 I always noticed that when I eat healthy and exercise my confidence dramatically increases. As for the others, I’ve never really given them a fair shot…maybe I should. 🙂
Me too. I think it’s because those are positive actions and lead to positive results which makes us feel good. That feeling good translates into more confidence.
Exactly, plus the endorphin rush helps you feel good as well. 🙂
Those tips totally make sense and I would add learn to love yourself for as you are for who you are and you solve half the problem with confidence.
Easier said that done though Mitch in this day and age. We live in a very critical world.
I am the same way, where I beat myself up. We both need to pay ourselves on the back a little more because we all do great things on a daily basis.
Ditto to that. This is actually one of my personal development projects. I need to be nicer to myself.
I love this. I need to do all of it more. Being kind to myself…I need to pamper myself more, too. I’m in no way a shallow person or too obsessed with my appearance, but when I put the effort into looking good (or someone else puts the effort into me looking good!) it does, admittedly, give me a confidence boost.
I think even the most confident people have issue with self esteem sometimes. I love the point about looking after yourself, a lot of people neglect themselves in order to please others.
Yes it is true – people sacrifice all the time. While sacrifice is good and worthwhile, we have to make sure we don’t give more than we have to give. We are no use to anyone eventually if we haven’t looked after ourselves.
Two Important Actions of Success
•First you must remove your psychological obstructions. If you cannot get over them yourself, it’s better to get help. You can try Subliminal mp3s audio Sessions, Brain wave Entrainment or self-help guides and than you must arrange your posture to get the most out of your confidence.
Good point. We can be a barrier to ourselves if we get stuck inside our own head. We need to allow ourselves to think about the bigger picture around us so our perspective can change.